Cooking, cooking!

Since I have resumed my cooking routine few weeks ago, I decided to write about my cooking experiences in the past 8 months! I cook for almost everyday, but mostly dinner only as my breakfast is just either coffee and biscuits or oat meals while my lunch is mostly settled during the lunch break during the weekdays and sometimes I simply skip it during the weekends.

I am an imaginative cook. I imagine how the flavours and textures of each and every of the ingredients that I bought that week would complement each other, and then only I set off to the cooking process. Don't get me wrong, I don't cook complicated food like Foie Gras, quiche, paella, or eclairs. Its just some simple stir-fry, salad or rice congee only, and most of the the time they are probably semi-homemade cooking. Some of them came out much better than I thought it would be, yet, not all imaginations are edible. Below is the list of some accidental Gourmets and hapless Food Fiascoes:

Gourmet:

1) Instant Soup with Grilled Bread
This is a heavenly match, and easy to prepare. First, you heat up some garlic oil in a frying pan, then fry some minced garlic until they are golden. Next, put some minced chicken into the oil and fry until they are a bit dry. Pour some hot water into the pan after that and then add in a packet of instant soup (mushroom or chicken). Pour the mixture into a bowl. Then heat up another pan for the grilled bread. Dip the bread into the soup so that it can absorb some of the soup which totally enhanced the flavour. After dipping, grill it on a pan until a bit crispy. Repeat the process with a few slices of bread. What's left to do now is to eat. Dip the bread into the soup and voila! That's the taste of halcyonity.

2) Mayonnaise with Fried potatoes
This was discovered, actually, just two or three weeks ago, when my friends (Song, Big Cow, Ah Beng, KCV...) and I were cooking on a Saturday. We were making potato salad, yet somehow when I ate the salad, the taste of potato with mayo stood out the most, and again, it's so simple to make. First of all, peel the potatoes and slice them up into thin slices. Heat up some oil in a pan until hot (bubbles form around wooden chopsticks). Fry the potato slices until both sides are golden brown. Drain the oil and absorb the excess oil with kitchen towels. Sprinkle some salt and oregano on the potato slices and toss it in a big bowl. Finally, add enough mayo and toss it again. Mmm-mmm...

3) Stir-fry
This is what I eat most of the time! I devour greens like wolves wolfing down their dinner. The only not-so-convenient part is the washing of the vegetables. Normally I would buy Chinese cabbage, 'yao-mak-choy' and tai bak choy because they are crunchy! So, after washing all the vegetables cut them diagonally or julienne. This speeds up the cooking a lot. Trust me. Later, heat up some garlic oil in a pan and fry some dried anchovies. They are a much better choice compared to chicken because they have a stronger, richer flavour. Plus, you won't need any salt because the anchovies are a bit salty in nature. After the anchovies turn crisply brown, add some fried minced garlic and the vegetable into the pan. Fry until the colour of the leaves turn a deeper shade. This way, the veggie will still be crunchy and sweet. It goes the best with rice congee.

Food Fiascoes:

1) Tea-rice congee
Okay, this is what happens when imaginations go wild and uncontrolled like a loose cannon. Initially, I thought that tea and rice go well. With the faint scent of Chinese tea blending with the aroma of cooked rice, the resultant product would be a delicacy. Somehow I managed to forget about the bitterness of Chinese tea. When the mixture was boiling up in the rice cooker, the aroma escaping the lid was truly nice, it had a calming and soothing effect for me too! Yet smell and taste don't always cooperate, and this time smell was the misleading one. I think I put in a little too much tea leaves and the bitterness was not compensated by the aroma of the tea. Eating it with the stir-fry made it worse. Henceforth I came up with an equation: bitter x salty = disaster.

2) Laver, anchovies and cabbage with noodles
Another catastrophic combination. Don't think that both laver and anchovies come from the sea they are a good combination. They just don't match. Moreover, the anchovies caused the texture of the noodle to be kind of sandy. The cabbage's natural sweetness and flavour together with the too-rich flavour of laver was deadly. So, in the end, I was forcing the sandy, gym-sock-flavoured noodle down my throat. The worst thing is I thought it would come out well and I cooked a lot of it. Just recalling the taste turns my stomach and leaves my spine quivering.

3) Anything with too much garlic in it
Sometimes I crossed the line and put too much garlic in my cooking. Eating it was fine. It's the after taste that matters. It can last until before I sleep. That was when I feel relieved as I do not have to taste the garlic anymore. Let me tell you, the garlic thing, is what evil must taste like. It lingers in your mouth. It makes your breath smells. It causes your burp to smell even worse. Burping is the worst, it somehow concentrated the foul smell. Drinking water is useless and only makes you want to pee more often. The only good solution is drinking something protein-rich like milk or soya milk, which is almost always absent from my pantry.

These are only some of the examples that I can remember right now. Some are so bad that my brain have already blocked the memory. As for the good ones, these are the three best, at least for me, examples as they are easy to prepare and simply delicious. I exclude all desserts as my only dessert here is fruits.

Cooking is fun, eating is fun. I feel sad for a lot of people who doesn't cook just because they feel troublesome to go and purchase the ingredients, prepare them and wash the dishes after that. Remember the phrase 'culinary art'. The word 'art' is not just there for fun. It is there because cooking allows you to imagine, to be creative, to be innovative, to express yourself. For those who have all the cooking appliances, don't just deep fry processed meat. Go for natural food and cook them a la yourselves. Start today, and venture into the culinary realm. It will be fun. I promise.

The Chronicles of Unfinished Essay

Foreword:

First of all, I would like to thank my lousy time management, who was the biggest contributor for this week's blog to be possible.

I would like to thank Stephen King, whom novel I read before the test, which without it, I would not have spent too much time reading the very gripping novel - "The Shining" - and spent too little time on the actual studying to be done.

I would also like to thank Mr D, my EALD lecturer, who initiated this blog and provided an inspiration for me to write this week's blog, or else I would struggle for 2 hours trying to figure out what to write this week. Thanks for making my life easier.

Finally, I would like to thank my parents who brought me to this world, then love and supported me for the past 18 years.

Prologue

It was Friday.

The sky was a marble of grey and white. Blinding, illuminating white. It was surprisingly quiet when I cycled to school. Maybe its because that it was already ten to nine. Or everybody else decided not to go to work at that specific time. I was trying to keep my eyes open when I was cycling, because I had little sleep the night before or should I say this morning at the wee hours.

On the last Saturday, I downloaded "The Shining" from the internet. And son of a gun, what a gripping novel it is! Though not as gruesome as "Cell", I spent a lot of time reading it off the screen of my laptop. The initial progress was slow, sluggish even. By the time I reached the climax, it was already Wednesday. I have heard from other classes that there is going to be a test on Friday but nothing from Mr D yet, since my lessons are on Thursdays and Fridays. Hence, I decided to spend the first sleepness night trying to finish the novel instead of reading up for my test. I did and was satisfied and contented with the happy ending.

Then it was Thursday. Mr D comfirmed the test on the next morning. But that night, my group members and I were trying to finish the 30-second trailer for our documentary which was due Friday. We underestimated the time because we realised that it was already 12 a.m. when the cutting of footage was finished. The next two hours were devoured by editing and choosing the perfect song and timing. Yet, when it was done, we love, no, adore the end product. By the time my head hit the pillow, I was drowned in my soundless slumber for the next five hours. That was the second night in a row with little sleep. For your information, I sleep as much as a one-year-old. I get cranky when I do not sleep enough or disturbed during my slumber.

The next thing I knew, Friday had replaced Thursday mercilessly. I was very anxious and sleepy when I woke up that morning as I did not really prepare for the Essay Test that was be going to be tested on that faithful day. I just cramped up all the studying on that morning after I was awake. The cool morning air did not cool my soul at all. It just compounded my anxiousness.

Chapter 1: The Sentence

I plodded my way to B606, the slaughter room that day. Surprisingly, I was the second person to arrive. Looking at the emptiness of the corridor and the faint ray of sunlight, I decided to do a bit more studying. Not like it will help much anyway, but at least it calmed myself. Minutes passed, and the overcast dissolved into the morning. The Sun was shining again. The effect it had on my mood was nil. Then Mr D, our beloved EALD lecturer, arrived, carrying our - or at least for me -paper of DOOM into the not-so-blissful classroom. Can you imagine this almost weightless, seemingly gentle sheet of A4 which at most gives you a very serious case of paper cut , carry the heaviest words in this semester. They read as follows:

"Show how the characters in at least one print text and one non print text are used to reinforce or challenge accepted ideas/values and attitudes about a particular culture or group in society.

MAKE REFERENCE TO AT LEAST ONE PRINT TEXT AND ONE NON PRINT TEXT YOU'VE STUDIED."

My reflex moved my hand to grab a pencil when Mr D said: You can start now, it's 9.15 so we end at 10.15. I underlined the keywords and spent WAY too much time on the planning. Well, mainly because I analysed the question a bit too much and had to fork out good examples from my still-quite-sleepy hard disk inside my skull. By the time I was finished with the planning of the body of the essay, I repeat, the body of the essay, it was already 9.30. And I was still missing the head. I spent another full 5 minutes on the head. I did not even DARE to bother with the conclusion as time was ticking away, fast and clandestine.

Chapter 2: The Tension

I started to scribble furiously on the empty page of narrow-line foolscap paper but still the momentum of eloquence got stuck frequently. Therefore, I only have ten minutes left when I reached the third paragraph, which is pathetically, body number two. Before I even know it, Mr D announced: "One minute left! Write down your final sentence for the conclusion class!" Conclusion, my God, the conclusion! I am not even done with the second body, not even close! The first word that came into my mind was the four lettered word starting with an 'F' that most ten-year-olds should recognise and it was not 'FISH'.

I was another three and a half paragraphs away from the conclusion and only 30 seconds left! So I tried my best effort to at least end that paragraph I was working on but to no avail. I handed in my not-even-close-to-half-finished essay to Mr D, very reluctantly. I knew at least 50% of the marks gone right after the paper escaped my grasp. With the tiredness and exhaustion, physically and mentally respectively, I never felt so beat before.

If only I studied more. If only I was more well prepared. If only I did not download that novel. If only I spend less time on the planning. If only I could write faster. If...if...if.... So many 'if's in life that appeared when things go awry. Yet I cannot turn time around so face it young man! Face it like a man and stop whining! You, yourself, screwed this up. Blame yourself and not others. You are the one controlling your own life. So, learn from this lesson and reflect on it. Trifles make perfection. Move on, move on and move on. Lingering on one mistake will only make one look immature and shallow.

Epilogue

It is Saturday.

The night is stuffy and humid. The noisy, rapid beating of the ceiling fan in my room only made matters worse, hence, I decided to slow it down. Here I am, in front of my laptop, reflecting on this matter, typing this post in my room, alone. Phase 1, gloating and blaming, is over. Phase 2, reflection and acceptance, is happening now. Phase 3, improving, will follow. This is how I learn.

Let's you and I use some of the free time before sleeping to reflect on things happened that day. Step into another person's shoe. Learn from mistakes and there you go, a happier, better life.

You know you are addicted to coffee when...

1. instant coffee is too slow.
2. you grind coffee beans between your teeth all the time.
3. your shrine is dedicated to your very first coffee mug.
4. you have a favourite coffee mug.
5. you have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
6. your clean your coffee mug with coffee.
7. you feel cheated by your coffee mug when somebody else used it.
8. you have not blinked since last solar eclipse.
9. you sneeze with your eyes open.
10. you sleep with your eyes open.
11. you bathe in coffee.
12. decaf is evil.
13. tea is evil.
14. you ask the nurse to change the saline solution on I.V into coffee.
15. the nurse needs a graphic calculator to calculate your pulse.
16. mathematicians had worked out an equation to calculate your pulse. They drank a lot of coffee as well.
17. the equation involved all the functions on the calculator.
18. you do not perspire, you percolate.
19. even your sweat smells like coffee.
20. you roller blade uphill.
21. people feel dizzy just by watching you.
22. you help your dog chase its tail.
23. you forgot the last time you slept.
24. you count coffee beans to get you to sleep.
25. you forgot the last time you stand still.
26. you are so jittery that the only time you are not is during an earthquake.
27. everything in the world seemed to be in slow-motion.
28. you watch movies in fast-forward.
29. you name your children Mocha, Latte, Starbucks and Espresso.
30. you got a speeding ticket when you are parked.
31. you can see photons.
32. your world revolves around your coffee machine.
33. you are never ten centimetres away from your coffee mug.
34. you can photograph yourself without using the timer ten feet away from your camera.
35. sometimes you think your camera's shutter speed of 1/2500s is too slow.
36. you can write a novel about your coffee mug and how it changed your life.
37. you write plays for your favourite coffee.
38. you have decided spend half of your monthly income on coffee beans and the other on coffee beans as well - and you grind half of them in your mouth.
39. you get excited just by looking at the word "coffee".
40. you get so excited that your shaking registered on the Ritcher's scale.
41. your hand phone number is 012-2333463 (01C-A-F-F-E-I-N-E)
42. you answer you door before people ring the bell.
43. you think others who do not drink coffee as weirdos.
44. your favorite screensaver is a coffee waterfall, with coffee beans flying all over.
45. you are reading this and you are thinking "Hey, that sounds like me..."

Feel free to add more to the list!

Be gingerly when saying Ginger

People seemed to fail to remember how my real name is spelled, even in my name in Chinese characters. (Hands up if you could spell it correctly right away with no references but your memory) It is spelled J-I-double N-space-J-Y-H, not J-Y-N-J-Y-H or J-I-N-J-Y-H or J-I-N-N-J-Y-E or another thousand spellings. And the Chinese characters are 竟智,not 竞智, and definitely not 竞杰. Its the one with the extra line. I know it is weird (because 竞智 means "competition of intelligence" while 竟智has no meaning as the word "竟" has no meaning at all standing alone) but that's the way it is. Hammer it into your brains now, please!!!

Good, are you clear with the spelling now? Don't be too happy yet. How do/can you ACTUALLY pronounce the word "Jyh"? Three unusual consonants fused together but unlike words like 'fly' or 'try', the letter 'y' is in the middle. Worse, it's sandwiched between two challenging-to-pronounce letters. Good Lord, you might think, how can you pronounce this bloody word?

So, what most people do is to go:"Jiiinnnn..............???!?!?? *stares at the word for a very long time* Excuse me, how do you pronounce J-Y-H?" or they just simply say a possible pronunciation hoping that it is correct. Sadly, no one ever get it right the first time, and hardly anyone can remember the actual pronunciation even after the umpteenth repeat. That was how I got my millionth name pronunciation. Cool huh?

To be frank, I myself don't know how to pronounce it either until I was six. I vividly remember the day I finally know how to pronounce my name. It was a new school or rather kindergarten year in 1996. My mother enrolled me into a new kindergarten known as "The Wendy House". The day was a blissfully sunny morning with perfectly blue sky with occasional clouds and the birds are chirping happily. Soft sunlight slipped though the leaves and accented the striking red flowers of the hibiscus growing beneath it. Morning dew sparkled on the grass in the lawn of the kindergarten. I can still feel the thin layer of dawn mist laced in the air. Mosquitoes are irritating though, I had to keep slapping my feet. There's no pressure, stress or even fear of facing a new environment. Ah, those halcyon days.

Anyway, my mum dropped me and my neighbour (also six) in the kindergarten. I walked into the classroom and started playing with new friends (sadly, I forgot their names) until the teacher walked into the room. The teacher was an amiable Malay woman in her thirties whose name I cannot recall now. She ordered us into our seats and started calling names. She was fluent and fast until she reached my name. Fluency was immediately killed by the word 'Jyh'.

"Err, how do you pronounce 'J-Y-H' ah?"

"Umm, err, aahh, uuhh...", I too, was befuddled by my own name.

I never had a problem with this because no one actually asked me about the actual pronunciation before and people normally just blurt out a sound and I accepted it as my name. I never even questioned my parents how to pronounce J-Y-H. Therefore, I kept silent and lowered my head. I can feel all eyes on me. People must be thinking: who is this weirdo that doesn't even know how to read his own name?

Luckily, the teacher sensed my embarrassment and saved me by saying :" Its okay, I think its pronounced as /dƷƏː/." I nodded sheepishly. From that day onwards, that's how she and everyone in class call me.

Later that day, when I got home, I asked my mum how to pronounce my name and finally I got an answer. "Jinn" is pronounced as /dƷɪn/ "Jyh" is pronounced just like its Chinese counterpart "智", just with an extra "h" at the end. I am sorry, I seem to not to be able to find the right phonetics for the vowel in "Jyh" in English pronunciation. Ask your friends if you need help. So, hopefully you can say my name correctly now.

I have no problem with my name in the kindergarten class (I was too shy to correct the teacher later then) until the day we learn about vegetables. The whole class was reading aloud "Lettuce! Cabbage! Tomato! Spinach! Garlic! Carrot! Onion! Ginger!" The whole class stopped abruptly and looked at me in reflex. Ginger, ginger, ginger. That was how I am known as Ginger from that faithful day onwards.

Yes, I know it is a female name but it was so much easier to pronounce AND remember than "Jinn Jyh" to most people that today, I don't even bother to tell people my real name when I introduce myself. And so, the Ginger era was started. Don't feel bad if you can't say my name. You are only one in millions. Furthermore, I kind of like the name too! Still, I'd appreciate it if you at least know how my name is pronounced.

However, I'll definitely kill you if you spell or write my name wrongly. So, you better learn your spellings well today and recite "J-I-N-N-J-Y-H" flawlessly in your minds today or Ginger is out there to get you :P