Wednesday, July 29, 2009

What is it that makes it so hard for people to talk to each other? How to break down the emotional wall?

Wow, I think the title of this post broke the record of the longest blog title ever existed.

Anyway, here it is:

It is easy to talk. Just utilise your vocal tract. (D'oh!) If the word "talk" refers to the idea of communication, rather than simply making a voice using the vocal tract, then it is not so easy. A leisurely walk in a bookstore and you will see tonnes of books on display about different communication skills. This shows that how important and difficult communication can be. But, back to the first question, what is it that makes it so hard for people to talk to each other? The reasons are simple. Distance and barrier.

Physical distance, obviously, prevents people to have a tete-a-tete. Web cams are not a solution, you are talking to the person through the monitor's screen. In the movie "A Thousand Years of Good Prayers", Mr Shi Kun is in China, while his daughter, YiLan is in the USA. And this constructed the main plot of the movie, in which Mr Shi is trying to figure out the reason his daughter's failed marriage. YiLan never told her father, and that made him worried enough to fly to the USA to make sure that his daughter is fine. It was after his arrival that in the end, YiLan finally told him the reason.

But why she never told him through the phone or via email? If their relationship is close enough, physical distance is not an impediment. This brings us to the next point, the emotional distance. Emotional distance makes it hard for people to communicate. When one creates a shell around him/her, people find it difficult to approach that person even when they are close to each other. And even when they did approach that person, the talking is void. Void of emotion, void of enthusiasm, void of connection. That was what happened between YiLan and Mr Shi. YiLan has confined herself in an emotional shell that even her father had a difficult time to chisel through. Even when they first met in 12 years at the airport, there is a sense of emptiness though she appeared to be glad to see her father. Unlike YiLan, Madam, a Persian lady, has an open heart, and that eased the communication between Mr Shi and her although they both had limited understanding or English. They connect even when words fail them.

Another reason for that is that there is a barrier of generation gap. When a youth talks to a senior member of the society about, say, MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Play Game), the senior member would not understand and had no interest in it. Likewise, when an old man talks to a youth about his recent bonsai growth, most of the time he/she would be turned off. Interest is just one of the barriers. Another barrier is the moral view of the society structure. The older generations are more conservative, while the younger ones are less so. Just like in the movie (again), Mr Shi scoffs at his daughter's volume and etiquette over the phone when she talks to her boyfriend and said that she talks like a prostitute. This opinion arises due to the fact that in Mr Shi's time, a woman is supposed to be quiet and well-mannered. On the other hand, YiLan lives in one of the most liberal countries in the world where conservatives are a rarity. Hence, the generation gap makes it hard for people to talk to each other.

So, how to overcome the problem? Some people say that it is impossible to do so due to individual opinions about the worldly issues. And this difference in opinions make it hard for people to talk to each other. Nay, a similarity in opinions will lead to a discussion. A difference in opinions will lead to a debate. So, just talk. Talk and talk and talk and sooner or later, the sound waves would shatter all the walls. If we don't talk, there will never be a chance for us to connect to people or people to connect to us. And we need an open mind. Be liberal about issues while holding to one's key values or principles. In that way, communication would not be so difficult after all.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Tale of the Fairy Tales - Chapter 3

"My what?" said Diki, astonished.

"Your Fairy Godsister," answered Faef, smiling. "Actually, I can tell you why you are here, but..."

"But?"

"But you look stressed. So I thought it would be better if we talk over some coffee."

"Coffee?", and Diki felt his body was instantly energised by the sound of that word. It was better than milk, though sometimes he likes to drink 'teh-tarik ice'.

"Yes," Faef signalled one of her maids, and the maid went away swiftly.

Within a minute, the maid returned with an expensive, floral patterned china set. Steam curled out of the mouth of the teapot in wisps of seductive white fingers. The aroma of the coffee filled theentire room. Diki looked at the coffee as if it was some kind of big afro hair he longed for.

Ajin took over the tray and poured coffee for each of them.

"How many sugar? Whipped cream? Nutmeg? Cinnamon?"

"Just one sugar will do. And no whipped cream and any of the spice powder. I am on a diet," said Faef.

"I'll have two sugar, no whipped cream too. Thanks," said Diki.

For a moment, there's only silence and the sound of coffee sipping in the room. Diki felt like he was floating in the sky, lying on fluffy white clouds and watching blue birds flying over the rainbow. He thought he would never feel alive again. The coffee was really rejuvenating.

Then, Faef spoke, "Feeling better?"

Diki nodded curtly.

"Okay, good. Now I'll tell you why you are here. You have been sent by certain someone to this world t accomplish a mission. And it's a tough one," she paused as if trying to rearrange her next sntence.

"You, Diki, have to go make the fairy tales right. All the stories have gone crazy lately. And you will regain some of your memories on the way. I know it sounds impossible, but it is true. Don't wory, I'll guide you along.

"Who is this certain someone?"

"You will find out eventually. So, are you ready? We can start now."

"Okay," and he realised that all his wounds were healed magically.

"That's the effect of cat saliva, speeds up healing like crazy," winked Ajin.

* * * * * *

"So, lets get started. Ajin, you know where Hobbes is?

"Sure, why?"

"Because we can find Kelvin then. They are like always together."

"Ooh, I don't think so. Kelvin and Hobbes are kind of separated now, you know, ever since he got his new Toshiba. He grew out of Hobbes, Faef. So Hobbes now just stays in the newspaper archive reading the comic strips about them when they were together. Very nostalgic, he says."

"Do you know where Kelvin is now? We need to find him quick."

"Of course! Ajin knows where everybody is! Don't you remember? He is just right here in the Milk house now. Why Kelvin anyway?"

"He could help us get started. The instructions are in my FaceBook," she said, standing up, "his Toshiba will help us get online."

Ajin led the party out of the room and back to the milk house, where there are less people now. However, there is one teenage boy stood out among the crowd. He was lean and tall. He is bespectacled and was typing furiously into his laptop. His hair was cropped short, and he was wearing a pair of jeans and an orange T-shirt that says "Summer Prosperity" written in Chinese calligraphy.

"That's Kel," Ajin said, pointing to that boy.

Faef took a few steps forward, and asked "Kel, may I borrow your laptop for just a sec? I need to go online for awhile, its urgent."

"Sure, just let me finish typing my lab report. Here," he said, finally looking up and turned his laptop towards Faef. He noticed Diki standing there, and smiled warmly to him. Diki returned the smile.

Faef was typing on the keyboard when she cursed "Dammit! Kaybeeyou have blocked FaceBook, and YouTube too apparently using the Matrix system. Worse still, it's the Augmented Matrix! The probability of beating the Augmented Matrix is almost 0, unless Gaussian is here to eliminate the unknowns and variables. I did not see this coming. Why on Auzzmatt would Kaybeeyou block these websites anyway? Like there are lots of people wasting their time on these things. Great, just great. Now I cannot get the instructions," she said, then stopped and then started to smack her hand on her forehead, and laughed "Oh, I am so used to my FaceBook that I forgot that I made a backup file in my email. I will download it in a sec...Done! Here it is,"

Diki looked into the screen, and the message says:

"Ursa Mother Drowned Cerealis. Boiled Remains Served to Family. Spouse Grouse Over Serving's Temperature is Daily Ritual. Blonde Trespasses Ursa Domicile While Ursa Family Promenaded Amongst Pristine Foliage. Gluttony and Lethargy Brought Havoc. Ursa Family Returned, Shocked. Ursa Father Irated. Blonde Fatally Mauled."

"Well, looks like it's a clue to one of the fairy tales. Guess?" Ajin asked the rest.

* * * * *

Saturday, July 18, 2009

The Sun, the Satellite and the Stars

The Sun, with its almighty blaze, lightens up the world. And at the same time over shines the Moon and the Stars.

The Moon, with its soft glow, can only shine when the Sun has set. And it borrows the light from the Sun.

The Stars, with their bright twinkle, complements the Moon. And they shine on their own far away from the Moon and the Sun.

Whenever the Sun is present, the Moon and the Stars will shine invisibly behind it. The Sun will be the leader, the king! People depend on its aura and luminosity to work and to survive. Yet, sometimes the Sun gets too hot, sucking every drop of water from the Earth, bringing devastation. And people will do the rain dance in hope of ending the heat. Rain did fall, yet the Sun continues to shine and shine. Nothing can overcome the Sun's scorching aura except for itself. In the solar maximum the Sun is the hottest, and the solar minimum the opposite. This periodic cycle makes people fear of and respect the Sun.

The Moon shines quietly all the time behind the Sun, but nobody can see it until the Sun is gone for the day. The Moon, unlike the Sun, gives the world a soft glow during the night. During the time of darkness, the Sun has gone, yet the Moon is always there to give the people at least some light, some light it borrowed from the Sun. The Moon is neither scorching nor overwhelming. The Moon, however, reflects different amount of light from the Sun every night depending on its position. There are the full Moon, the Crescent and the new Moon. But if only the Moon is there continuing to glow, the world would die without the power of the Sun. The Moon can only provide some temporary relief to the people from the Sun, because people needs the Sun.

The Stars, guides the people during the night. When the Sun is gone, the Moon cannot guide the people, because its position is constantly changing. However, the Stars, though small, are firm at their positions, guiding the blind all the time, telling them which one is the right direction. And they shine at their own might, without the need of the Sun. They are independent. However, they are so insignificant, easily overcome by light and artificial light. Sometimes, people have to squint to realise their position. They are shy and far away, but very dependable once you find them.

There is only one Sun in the solar system, and it is the centre of it. There are quite a lot of Moons reflecting off the Sun's light. But there are millions of Stars, ready to guide. Sadly, there aren't enough Stars in the world but lots of Suns and a plethora of Moons. And the Sun never listens to what the Stars are saying. The Moon just follows whatever the Sun says. The Stars never show themselves in the presence of the Sun.

Will the world ever in proportion with the natural proportion of the different astronomical light givers?

Friday, July 17, 2009

Assume

Stephen King wrote in one of his novels: Assume makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me". I nod my head furiously in agreement when I read that and it stayed in me until today. Assumptions really cause troubles, almost all the time, and the creator of the word must too, have noticed that. We forgot to bring the textbook to college because we assume that we already have it. We failed to hand in homework in time because we assume that the lecturer will forget about it. Bad things are bound to happen the moment we assume.

Ironically, we love to do just that. Why? Because assumptions make life way easier. Let us imagine Physics questions without assumptions. Projectile motion calculations would be much more complicated. Questions on the orbital motions of planets and satellites would be chaotic. In Economics, assumption plays an even more important role, because the economy is not linear as Physics is. We need to assume the much celebrated ceteris parisbus in order to explain the concepts. The world is too volatile and complex for students, or even experts to scrutinise and study. A random shock (the so-called exogenous factors) could turn the "predicted" trend around.

Assumptions are sometimes fatal, especially in horror movies. The victim would assume the killer/monster/whatever is dead, yet they resurrect most of the times for the final blow (and scare the sh*t out of the audience). Well, those are just in fictional movies. Still, it shows the potential threat assumptions can bring.

Yet, if we never assume, we never learn. Everything would be so complex. Assumptions are a necessity, because assumptions simplifies complex things, and we will learn and develop from there until we get the whole picture. Human learn from the simplest of things, and build on the learnt skills later on. We cannot expect a four-year-old to understand trigonometry when he/she is not even sure how to pronounce the word. He/she would need to have the basics of mathematics before having the ability to at least grasp the concept of it.

We live in a world full of assumptions, and assumptions take part in every aspects of our lives. We assume all the time. We assume when we eat; we assume when we talk; we assume when we argue; we assume when we walk. But whether asuumptions do make an ass out of you and me and the parties involved or not, that will depend on our own wisdom. We must make appropriate, good assumptions to minimise the potential harm. I would now just assume that I would assume carefully when I make my assumptions in the future.