What is it that makes it so hard for people to talk to each other? How to break down the emotional wall?

Wow, I think the title of this post broke the record of the longest blog title ever existed.

Anyway, here it is:

It is easy to talk. Just utilise your vocal tract. (D'oh!) If the word "talk" refers to the idea of communication, rather than simply making a voice using the vocal tract, then it is not so easy. A leisurely walk in a bookstore and you will see tonnes of books on display about different communication skills. This shows that how important and difficult communication can be. But, back to the first question, what is it that makes it so hard for people to talk to each other? The reasons are simple. Distance and barrier.

Physical distance, obviously, prevents people to have a tete-a-tete. Web cams are not a solution, you are talking to the person through the monitor's screen. In the movie "A Thousand Years of Good Prayers", Mr Shi Kun is in China, while his daughter, YiLan is in the USA. And this constructed the main plot of the movie, in which Mr Shi is trying to figure out the reason his daughter's failed marriage. YiLan never told her father, and that made him worried enough to fly to the USA to make sure that his daughter is fine. It was after his arrival that in the end, YiLan finally told him the reason.

But why she never told him through the phone or via email? If their relationship is close enough, physical distance is not an impediment. This brings us to the next point, the emotional distance. Emotional distance makes it hard for people to communicate. When one creates a shell around him/her, people find it difficult to approach that person even when they are close to each other. And even when they did approach that person, the talking is void. Void of emotion, void of enthusiasm, void of connection. That was what happened between YiLan and Mr Shi. YiLan has confined herself in an emotional shell that even her father had a difficult time to chisel through. Even when they first met in 12 years at the airport, there is a sense of emptiness though she appeared to be glad to see her father. Unlike YiLan, Madam, a Persian lady, has an open heart, and that eased the communication between Mr Shi and her although they both had limited understanding or English. They connect even when words fail them.

Another reason for that is that there is a barrier of generation gap. When a youth talks to a senior member of the society about, say, MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Play Game), the senior member would not understand and had no interest in it. Likewise, when an old man talks to a youth about his recent bonsai growth, most of the time he/she would be turned off. Interest is just one of the barriers. Another barrier is the moral view of the society structure. The older generations are more conservative, while the younger ones are less so. Just like in the movie (again), Mr Shi scoffs at his daughter's volume and etiquette over the phone when she talks to her boyfriend and said that she talks like a prostitute. This opinion arises due to the fact that in Mr Shi's time, a woman is supposed to be quiet and well-mannered. On the other hand, YiLan lives in one of the most liberal countries in the world where conservatives are a rarity. Hence, the generation gap makes it hard for people to talk to each other.

So, how to overcome the problem? Some people say that it is impossible to do so due to individual opinions about the worldly issues. And this difference in opinions make it hard for people to talk to each other. Nay, a similarity in opinions will lead to a discussion. A difference in opinions will lead to a debate. So, just talk. Talk and talk and talk and sooner or later, the sound waves would shatter all the walls. If we don't talk, there will never be a chance for us to connect to people or people to connect to us. And we need an open mind. Be liberal about issues while holding to one's key values or principles. In that way, communication would not be so difficult after all.